glowingz-star

MOVED

2008-10-29T08:45:00.001+08:00

I have had enough of this nonsense.
-MOVED-

pitiful

2008-10-21T23:01:00.002+08:00

this post is dedicated to sighs.

hello sighs,

you can spam all you want. as you can see i cant be bothered with you anymore as i am not even going in cbox to delete the messages. so this would be my last time talking to you. cause you're too childish. i just cant believe that someone like you actually exist. i would assume that with your age you should be more mature. dont know if you're jealous of my life or whatsoever that you're unhappy with me. you've got no guts to say it in my face and instead you're just trying to spite me on my tagboard. grow up please.

oh ya. and know what. i wont die so easily. too bad for you then i guess.

let me give you this advice. GO GET A LIFE.

Thanks. =)

我这次可能真的有事.

2008-10-21T15:08:00.002+08:00

诊所打电话来了.
健查报告出来了.
这次我可能真的没有那么辛运.

Life.

2008-10-02T00:21:00.002+08:00

who hasnt been through tough times. who are we to complain about life.

what about those that werent given the chance to be alive and were robbed of being well and healthy.

she left the world smiling. she left the world still caring about others. she left the suffering world to a place where she can call her heaven and be happy healthy and enjoy her life. that night it rained. poured damn freakingly heavy. is heaven touched?

cancer robbed her of her freedom, robbed her of the rest of her life, robbed her of her unknown future. it was too late. we're all living in a world where all kinds of deadly illness which can happen to anyone of us. anywhere and anytime. so please. if you are unwell. see the doctor. unless terminal, if discovered early it can be cured.

i've decided my future. and i will work hard for it. too many things have happened. too many things i've regreted. too many things. there's no chance to undo. but there's a chance to redo.

i'm guilty of taking everything for granted. i'm guilty of doing things that i know i shouldnt do but still go ahead with it.

october 2008 is the start of the change. this time i say it and i mean it. no doubt. no lie. life is too short.

human jam

2008-09-26T08:57:00.002+08:00

I JUST GOT TO WORK NOT LONG AGO.
FIRST TIME SO FAR.
SUPER LATE!!!!

HAHA

i was at paya lebar mrt at 8.05am. and it was FREAKINGLY PACKED LIKE MAD. causing MASSIVE HUMAN JAM. and the best thing was that THE TRAING WAS COMING IN EVERY MINUTE. literally. EVERY MINUTE. which means there was a train at every train station. BUT. it's all PACKED. even WORST than the sardines in the can. it was OMG. haha

i waited and only managed to squeeze at the 6th train. zzz but i dont remember what time it was already then. PLUS. it wasnt only at paya lebar station. the rest of the station was amazingly packed as well. haha. and my friend was even later. thought she would reach earlier than i will. cause she boards the train at 8am from tampines. and she got to work at 9. the train today is SCREWED UP.

that's why i hate taking trains. haha.

TATA - time for work

have you ever...

2008-09-16T22:36:00.004+08:00

have you ever wondered if things happens for a reason?

have you ever think back and say what if?

have you ever wanted things to return to the way it was last time?

have you ever wondered if things were different?

have you ever thought if i just did?

have you ever thought if i just didnt?

have you ever wished you could turn back time?

have you ever wished you could undo?

have you ever look back and regretted?

i did.

WORK work and MORE work.

2008-09-12T20:20:00.003+08:00

i am working now. monday to friday. sucks. working life really sucks. especially when you're doing something that you dont really like. BUT my collegues are NICE and my supervisior is really nice too! =) the working environment is making my work more enjoyable. =) yayness.

i am very tired everyday after work though. and i've got to find a way to keep awake after lunch hours. always feel like sleeping alot alot. haha. =P then cant wait to end work. haha

my one week of holiday passed really quickly. i was packed with alot of activities to do before my intern and it's all over now. i really really enjoyed myself. felt really good and now it's work work and more work though. i'll stand strong for the 3 months. haha =P

and i've been thinking about alot of things in life. i'm going to just let it flow i suppose and let nature take it's course. if it's meant to be it will. =)

-imahappyhappygal-

i'm mad

2008-09-01T06:16:00.003+08:00

ok firstly i'm mad. it's 6.16am and i'm still not in bed. crazy stuff. haha

anyways i'm feeling all silly and smiley because i was watching a drama. until something came to my mind.

life is so unfair. good people meet with bad stuff. and the bad people usually gets away with the bad stuff they do. everyone is not perfect. and i am barely there.

i heard this news. i was shocked. how could something like that happen to her. she hasnt dont anything wrong. even if she did. she doesnt deserve to get something like that. why did she have to get something like that. i'm upset. and i feel so helpless. i dont know how to help her cause there's nothing i can do besides being there for her. i had that before as well. but mine wasnt serious. mine was a minor. but hers.

and now i can only pray for her that everything will be fine. i can only pray that she'll be fine. i can only pray that she'll recover. and if there's anything anything at all that i can do for her. i will.

-why-

freedom is here. BUT

2008-08-30T01:24:00.005+08:00

yes. my long awaited short period of freedom is here.

after studying for 2 weeks. i finally can relax. and i hereby declare that among all my years so far in poly. this is the first time i studied so much but gah. oh wells.

it's always better after talking to someone who knows you well enough about your problem. =)

and i have a busy 12days ahead of me. and left with very few free time. oh wells. i wanted it that way anyways =P

so this is my plan for the next 12days.

sat - glenn's belated birthday celebration
sun - morning appt

mon - meeting my 'sister' and maybe ktv

tues - meeting the zlc

wed - FREE - so far there is nothing

thurs - BALI!

fri - BALI!

sat - BALI!

sun - BALI! - i've never been there so i'm excited!

mon - sip briefing then tennis chalet

tues - tennis chalet

then off i go for sip on wed. oh wells.

-ishouldletitallgo-

HEY juliet!

2008-08-25T00:39:00.003+08:00

hmmm. my emotions has been flying sky high. and dropping down to the bottom of earth. that's bad. it's been so up and down. like for half an hour i can be so frustrated and than later i can be so happy. kinda irritating to myself as well.

plus my headachs have decided to come back to say hi to me. haven got them in ages and they popped by yesterday and today. how nice of them. blah.

thanks to this blog that i visited. my frustration turned into laughter cause of the super cute song. ok. maybe to ALOT of people it doesnt sound cute. but to me it did and still is. and currently on repeated mode on my com. haha =P and i think this song has other motive on my friend's blog. HAHA! my opinion! =P

Hey Juliet
I think you're fine
You really blow my mind
Maybe (maybe) someday (someday), you and me can run away
I just want you to know
I wanna be your Romeo
Hey Juliet
(Hey, hey Juliet)
(Hey Juliet)

and despite my fluctuations of emotions i managed to have some laughter thanks to the people who brought smiles to my face. haha! i really needa a breakthrough. and i cant wait for 6 days to past. it's a hard 6 days.

-helpmethroughisurrender-

fireworks

2008-08-23T23:50:00.010+08:00

the pictures says it all. not a very goof photographer but oh wells.

today wasnt a good day. it started alright. turned bad. and went back alright.

but i still cant help but to feel this tinge of what in the world feeling. i cant believe she decided to do that. biasness to just someone called husband. like hello. shouldnt the same blood that runs in the body be more united. just because you got married to him doesnt mean you have to listen to him for EVERYTHING. kinship will always be there. husband. hard to say.

and because of that. i had a headach. an extremely bad one. and the symptons of falling sick are appearing. how much worse can things get.

-wakeup-

it's all in the mind.

2008-08-20T01:24:00.003+08:00

read something that i felt was like omg. because that person actually know what he/she should do but still refuses to do so.

time to awaken the great stone dragon - mulan

it's not life that is hard. it's you who is making life hard. and it's you who can make life easy. =)

-stillcountingdown-

Aurora

2008-08-19T02:40:00.002+08:00

Auroras are natural colored light displays in the sky, usually observed at night, particularly in the polar zone. They typically occur in the ionosphere. Some scientists call them "polar auroras". In northern latitudes, the effect is known as the aurora borealis, named after the Roman goddess of dawn, Aurora, and the Greek name for north wind, Boreas. It often appears as a greenish glow or sometimes a faint red, as if the sun was rising from an unusual direction. The aurora borealis is also called the northern polar lights, as it is only visible in the North sky from the Northern Hemisphere. The aurora borealis most often occurs from September to October and from March to April. The Cree call this phenomenon the Dance of the Spirits.

Some day in my life. I wanna see that for myself. =) anyone wanna join me? =P

-washedawaythoughts-

thoughts

2008-08-17T01:09:00.002+08:00

today shall go without a picture.

i had so many thoughts within a car ride home. from tampines mall after my movie with the family. money not enough 2. even though i've watched it already. it's still funny. =P

and i've got to say again. it's either the show is not captivating enough. or i am not feeling anything from the show. or i just dont get touched by tv series/drama/movies. cause so many years of watching all of them. i haven cried. as observed by my sister as well. oh wells. but at times i'm quite a crybaby =P

family. no matter what happens they'll be there. best thing that can happen to you. yea. LOVE!

friends. those that stay with you through thick and thin. be there when you need. even if i just call and cry they'll just stay by the phone. and when i need they'll make the trip down to my place. also they can tell when i'm alright or not. true friends. LOVE!

goals. motivation. determination. objectivity. i have my goals. but i cant seem to find my motivation and determination. and my objective is like wrong. gah.

screw it

i'll find my way. i'll find my pot of gold which is at the end of the rainbow!

-tillthen-

now.

2008-08-13T01:17:00.002+08:00

the past is history. live the present. anticipate the future.

got back all my course work grades. was kinda surprised. but got to study ALOT ALOT still. oh wells. needa start like NOW.

this week is the last week of school. study week. exam week. one week break. chalet then internship. WORK WORK and MORE WORK for 3 months. all the best to me.

my future like is i have no idea what yet kinda thing. in all aspects. cant seem to be able to decide cause this time i really dont wanna regret.

been talking about going overseas to study. but i've got to cross the first barrier first. which is to persuade my parents to let me go. kinda regret going to poly if not i would have been in uni now. if i had thought of going overseas then. oh wells. doesnt matter. =P what's like without taking risks. HAHA!

caught money not enough 2 with pinkvaio. we always go out but i have no memories of watching a movie together at all. it was usually just SHOPPING and MORE SHOPPING. haha! =P then we bumped into the commando boys. haha. we talked for a while kinda caught up kinda thing after sometime. and surely my friend's friends would be talking about us in their bunk tonight. zzz but it's normal. haha! and the world is so small. my commando friend's friend so happen to be pinkvaio's friend. haha! so surely will talk. oh wells.

money not enough 2 was a happy and sad show. and i have to say when i watch movies i do not really have much emotions. haha! i didnt cry/tear maybe i was that not moved by the show. but it was touching i would say. and the funny part was OMG. for such a long long time i haven laughed that hard that my chest literally hurt. i need to be that happy once again. that was just amazing. i'm glad i caught the show. and i understood cause it was in hokkien. haha! but it's like the normal jack neo kinda show. which is like sad and funny at the same time but with a meaning to the story.

i just hope my family dont turn out like that in the future. i'll do my best to prevent it.

side note - i just found out my friend reads my archive. and somehow i'm like kinda disturbed by it. so i took the links away. i'm sorry. but yea. haha. it's kinda embarrassing as well. =/ i'm a shy gal. haha!

-imfeelingthestress-

lost.

2008-08-10T23:34:00.003+08:00

how many times in life do we feel lost? in any aspects of life. i believe everyone would feel lost somehow someday. one fine day.

but it's alright. even though it'll take a period of time to get find your way. but there will always be a light at the end of every dark tunnel and at the end of rainbow there will always be a pot of gold. =)

life is short so do what you want just because you want to do it. ask what you wanna know just because you wanna know. much better than regreting! =)

when everything doesnt seem to be right. you still have me!! =)

JIA YOU BAH! =)
this is dedicated to my cute little neighbour

-tomorrowwillbebetter-

bored

2008-08-10T00:22:00.005+08:00

i am bored. like the kitty. haha. i stayed at home all day today. i am such a goody gal. HAHA. =P

i cooked dinner tonight! together with my sister-in-law for 4 people. we had TOO MUCH food. way way too much. but it was such a nice dinner! =)

oh yea. i put comment box no one comment. then when i dont put. people ask me how come i take out my comment box. o.o weird.

had ice cream chefs yesterday! with lizzy sherrie and timmy. last minute decision! haha when we got there they were about to close or rather closing already. then headed to sherrie's house to watch some movies. but ended only watching Van Helsing. but i like that show. haha. and timmy and sherrie fell asleep towards the end. lizzy had to go off halfway. got home about 3am. haha!

and i've given up on bothering. some times i just bother too much. and the people doesnt give a hoot about it. so what for.

today is national day. so happy national day people. haha

currently my sister is in my room. being irritating as usual. irritating me just for the fun of it. oh wells. haha! =P

-baddream-

paranoid

2008-08-07T23:25:00.005+08:00

i am feeling paranoid. just feels that way. i cant find the source of it. okae. it sounds retarded. anything la. so i googled. but the pic darn cute right? haha

Paranoia - Psychiatry. a mental disorder characterized by systematized delusions and the projection of personal conflicts, which are ascribed to the supposed hostility of others, sometimes progressing to disturbances of consciousness and aggressive acts believed to be performed in self-defense or as a mission.

never exactly knew the exact meaning of paranoid. now i know. haha. but i have to say that is not what i'm feeling. haha. maybe cause i am just bored. haha thus the excessive thinking.

littleflyingelephant talked to me again. and again about the same thing. my deadline is still kinda far away. i'll pick up signs along the way. i guess that's the way it should be.

the radio is currently playing emo songs. like since i started posting until now. zzz and it all falls under one category. is that a sign?

1. song - your guardian angel by the red jumpsuit apparatus
i will never let you fall
i'll stand with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all

2. song - what hurts the most by rascal flatts
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

3. song - say it again by marie digby
Say it again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love
Say It Again

-lostasusual-

ADDON :
i just added a comment link instead of a tag board. =)

is it just me

2008-08-07T00:03:00.004+08:00

rights. i really needa find something to pass my time with besides studying so i would stop complaining that i'm bored. haha. and i cannot be too busy or else i'll complain that i have no time. haha. such a troublesome gal i am. oh wells =P

somehow it seems like i'm exercising more than i use to when there was training. haha but like my plan LW isnt working still. cause i still intake ALOT ALOT. bad bad. i do have a source of motivation. but i just cant seem to get it started. gah. when will i actually get it started.

yesterday was fun. even though i had lessons from 11am till 6pm. with only an hour of break. i enjoyed myself after that. haha

4 of us went to watch the mummy 3 the usual 3 with the switch of one. haha. but fun fun. the hk cafe in ehub is nice! of maybe cause i like hk cafe's food. so i say it's nice. but the service is kinda bad though. =P we went up to the rooftop of the carpark and cam whored la. super funny process

we had alot of gal talk and funny expression words but unfortunately i dont remember any of it now. gah. and there's one thing which i cant believe py said. she says i look like i'll get married first amongst all of them la! o.o there is like 6 of us. how in the world do i have the i'll get married first looks. o.o then py and sp went like dont forget to invite us to your wedding sort. o.o i am totally stunned. haha. oh wells. the future is unknown we'll see. hahaha!

little flying elephant has been talking to me. he says i'm getting old and should start panicking. and he keeps pushing for one thing. haha. but i have no guts to do it. so i'll never know unless i find the guts to do it. oh wells. pinkvaio told me the same thing too. but yea again i have no guts. oh wells.

i am pretty much alright with the situation now like it has always kinda been this way. i am happy =P

somehow my brain doesnt seem to be working now. i cant seem to think deeper into any thoughts that i have. oh wells

-dancethenightaway-

7th month

2008-08-03T04:36:00.002+08:00

haha. after reading my friend's blog. i realise it was the 7th month. and i just WALKED home for like 4 mins. haha. luckily i didnt realise it was the 7th month. or else i would have just FREAKED myself out like seriously. gah. =[

went to my neighbour's house to chat! haha! lizard stays diagonally behind me. sort of. haha! and we talked like for hours! 4hours plus plus non stop chatting. haha! gals can chat! =P and i know more things now too! =P secrets!!

so so so so many things were talked about. and yea. give it a shot. rather regret trying than regret not trying. that's worse. at least you know you've tried but it didnt work out. =P

i had fun today too. really SLEPT till my fill. then headed out for tennis. accomplishment. played 3 matches then went gym! ran 2.4km but in a super lousy timing and was kinda dying after that. zzz

then had late late dinner with picky. dinner was filling and milk tea was NICE. but DESSERT was even NICER. ice cream chefs! =))) and it was picky's treat! many THANKS! =))

this week kinda past really quicky. thurs fri sat and it's sun already. i cant remember what i did on friday now. gah. OH. i just remembered. haha!

thurs- no school. slept in. then went to develope my photos! now i have the whole collection! =P

fri- school. lunch with parents. ikea. MY HOUSE. talk talk =))

school will end in a month's time. so so fast. no more time to play around already. gah. this stinks. =[

Outback

2008-07-30T03:00:00.002+08:00

had A LONG LONG DAY in school. the usual tuesday stinks. but it's going to be over real soon. then i'll start to dread work. oh my. oh wells. haha

went OUTBACK for TEAM DINNER. the food was not bad. good service all. the bill was like 800++ with discount without it was like close to 1K. WOW. haha

then went to marina to play some arcade and pool. people left as time past. then the few of us took the bus back. haha. took many many photos but i'm kinda lazy to upload here already. wanna see? go FACEBOOK. haha cause i uploaded it there already.

i'm in a whole lot of mess. cause my feelings are like scattered all over the place. hmm. that is not a right way to put it. for this particular thing. i'm feeling not right. not safe. something is wrong. and i HATE this feeling i tell you. got to get rid of it asap! DARN RAHHHH

DISTURBIA

-ilikethatphoto-

I AM BORED

2008-07-29T02:15:00.002+08:00

hello all.

I AM BORED

i needa find something to kill my time during wee hours like this. gah. esp when i cant seem to sleep. how irritating sometimes. luckily i've got friends to talk to on msn. or else i'll be worst than bored. haha!

i went for dance classes today! like finally! instead of tennis though =/ i'll play on wed! then i heard it's the hip hop teacher's last lesson. so sad. but oh wells. too bad for me then. but i still suck at hip hop. maybe it's not my kinda thing. street jazz was nice as always. haha! =P

i need some answers to some of my questions that i've been pondering for some time. even though it's not exactly important it would be nice to get them off my mind. but then again. gah. i need some courage. as some people will say NO BALLS.

Some Day A Spirit Will Take You And Guide You There
I Know You've Been Hurting But Ive Been Waiting To Be There For You
And Ill Be There Just Helping You Out Whenever I Can

-nogutsnoglory-

i survived.

2008-07-27T17:26:00.003+08:00

haha!
i am still surviving on 1.5hours of sleep since 3pm yesterday and now is 5.30pm. how amazing. haha! and i manage to wake up in time!

despite the LONG night. i ENJOYED myself. =P did a little crazy stuff. haha!!

BUT i have absolutely no idea how am i going to survive the whole night. and there's school tomorrow. the weekend past so quickly. =[ RAHHHHHHH!!!

-sanmiguelarcherspeachJOHNNIEWALKERblacklabelKILLS-

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

2008-07-27T03:37:00.004+08:00

YAY!!!

TP TENNIS GALS TEAM CAME IN FIRST!!!!!!!!! =))))))))))))

however, the feeling wasnt as good as the first time we won it. well. we took it back cause last year we won it. this year was hard but we fought well. i had many tough times. but we manage to pull through. my partner and i had our ups and downs but we did it. nonetheless.

GOOD JOB GALS!!!

the boys didnt do as well. the 3 years in the team i think all the 3 years they wanted gold. but something will go wrong somewhere somehow. the guys came in third this year. but still YOU DID YOUR BEST! =)

the photos will come up another time. i dont have the FULL collection yet. =)

i to have steamboat dinner with 3 classmates today! it was quite satisfying and chaeap!. not that bad. haha! and it was in roxy square. never did i ever knew that there was something like that there. and all these years i've been going to parkway and all. haha!

then we started playing stupid games just so that we could finish the food. haha! it was a very enjoyable night. =) all the times two hot dogs and dong fen!!! haha. we laughed so loud that everybody there was looking at us. so embarressing. hahaha! =PPP

then went town drinking and chilling and talk. haha! super funny. san miguel's beer and archers peach with sprite. i dont really like beer still but it's CHEAPER. oh wells. play five ten. haha!

i've found something else to do in my free time. and it's a healthy thing! yayness. but i've got to have the determination to do so. rah. =P

classmates! i'm the TANNEST! =/

-seeingisbelieving-

ONE good shot

2008-07-24T23:48:00.004+08:00

hello people.

my layout/template. nice? haha

change is good and bad. but i wanna it to be good.

something went wrong today. i dont know what went wrong. still cant figure it out. maybe it's cause i have too many things in my mind.

1. studies
2. friendship
3. pol-ite
4. you

number 3 will will over tomorrow. tomorrow is the last day of pol-ite. the deciding match played between TP and NP. and if we win we're the champs. and i know i want it. i want it badly. as much as whoever in the gals team wants it. but know what. i haven been performing up to standard. i'm stressed up over tomorrow. i need my best and more than my best tomorrow. we could just easily lose it tomorrow. but i wont give up. i will NEVER give up. we did it once and we will do it again. i wanna bring the championship throphy back. tomorrow is ALL or NOTHING.

number 1 2 and 4. i needa do my part for it. maybe even if i did. it's not enough. or else it's cause i dont know what to do about it. but i will be able to overcome it. because i BELIEVE.
i took the step and i believed. still beliving and i think i'm he's showing it to me already. the signs and all. =)

i finally watched the dark knight. it's NICE. ok more than nice. haha! =P and i watched it with my gal friends! i was surprised that they wanted to watch it as well. plus it's kinda late timing. cause of me. we had to catch the later timing one. THANKS! =) known them for 3 years. haha.

i am sure going to miss the old times. and as one would say the happy times. but i'm glad i had them =) memories that stays forever.

the old gang

the champs! when i was year 1

year 1 tp tennis team

the tennis gals!

tennis tennis and MORE tennis

2008-07-21T03:17:00.002+08:00

this whole week has just been tennis tennis and more tennis.
i am tired. and drained.

played like crap and played normal. and surprising i manage to win. haha! many thanks to my partner too. just what i needed to practice. and i got something out of it. haha! the trophy sits on my table currently. shall look for somewhere else to put it. haha!

manage to rush down for the last part. haha. then had lunch. went parkway but couldnt find my present that i wanna buy. rah. then i was stonning already. super drained from the morning plus the little sleep that i had. oh wells.

it's going to be a long long day today. and the important match later on. no way i'm going to let myself down this time. i promise myself. i believe myself and i believe in you. we will rock this. haha!

oh ya~ another thing. haha! i went singing!! but i still cant sing. i think i sound terrible. needa find a song that suits my voice. haha! but it's alright. i had fun! pics will come another time. haven loaded it yet. then i had a chatting lesson with mad beanie. interesting stuff. haha! friday night was such a nice break for me! i wanna do something like that again! dang. i just feel like doing something more adventurous adn exciting. haha!

-itookthefirststepsoletsseewhathappensnext-

tomorrow.

2008-07-16T00:49:00.003+08:00

photos of presentation day! on monday. the only presentation of project for this sem. =)) it was alright. haha!

okaes. my eyes here looks really small. so stop saying my eyes are THAT BIG. haha! =PP

my class! =)

my wonderful project group mates! =))

the BAN MIAN gang!!! hahahaha!! =PPP

my group with the tutor. she's nice =)

tomorrow is important. i can do it! =) today was a COMEBACK! wooo! it was amazing! simply unbelieveable. haha! =P nothing shall stand in my way. haha!

whatever you say doesnt affect me. cause you're just pure childish. so i cant be bothered with you. cant believe that someone like you actually exist. omg. HAHA!

-yayness-

make up

2008-07-15T01:33:00.003+08:00

disappointment.

time and time. it happens. damn this thing. i'm disappointed in myself. for today. and i've disappointed her. i'm upset. and there i thought i was a happy happy gal for good. how naive.

i need to make up for the mistakes i've done.

-andiprayed-

2008-07-14T01:41:00.004+08:00

hmmm. let's see. today is the first time in a long time i did something like that. haha

and of course i made new friends and went for a movie with them. friendly bunch of people. haha. nice =) and now i've to think if i wanna go back. of course there has to be a reason as to why i wanna go back. and the reason has got to be acceptable. =[

that is not called thinking too much. haha!

i simply just have too many things on my mind. and mainly all has got to do with school. i might just be over stressed and over worried bout this and that. tests. tournament. ZZZ oh wells. i've got to deal with it. seems like everything is in a mess when it is kinda sorta in place as well. OMG. i'm messed up. =[

plus i just finished the final editing of my presentation tomorrow. i hope it's perfect. i think i'm becoming too much of a perfectionist for some things. i'm dead meat. and anyways! lucky me. i have the car tomorrow! no worries about all the stuff i need to bring to school YAY!!

haha. but things will be sorted out. i just have to endure 2 more weeks. just 14 days more and i'll be free from this messy situation of mine. not very short but oh wells.

this doesnt mean that i am EMO also ok. =P

i'm still a happy happy gal

and my nephew is coming back from the hospital tomorrow! yayness! he's alright already! =))

-yousetmeyousetmefree-

pol-ites

2008-07-10T23:50:00.005+08:00

cant believe i'm blogging for the 2nd time today. =/ haha

yesterday was the offical start of pol-ites. the inter poly ite games. i am still not feeling safe. yesterday was fun. i think. haha. to me it was la! hahaa =P

and people now are asking me why am i happy. and i cant define why i am happy. because i just am. =P and the weird thing is i have so many things on my mind and so many things to complete and do. but i'm still happy. weird right? haha! =P

the news came. now there's a slight problem. best of luck to the boys. and i believe the gals need them to. so may the force be with us!

i dont wanna keep it a secret. but it seems like i have no choice. i've been thinking about it. but i just cant seem to be able to find the right time to tell. i might just be another him to them. oh wells. i just have to see how things progress. show me the light.

sorry mel the program that did the collage cut you off. =/

-everydayimfeelingsomethingdifferentbutitisntgoingawayhow-

love?

2008-07-10T13:07:00.003+08:00

conicidentally. quite a few blogs were talking about love. mine has been er.. weird? if only love was easy to understand. =P

below is just some love food for thought. (credits to sammie) =)

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her/him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt...

If you keep your heart open, It will come again.

-beinginloveisagift.beingabletoloveisablessing-

i am a happy gal

2008-07-04T01:28:00.004+08:00

haha. i dont know why. but my mood has really been good for the past few days. =P it's a goody good thing.

let's see. nothing interesting though. just that tues we had a cut for the tennis team. then the games offically start next wed. if you can COME DOWN AND SUPPORT!! it's my last year playing already. how fast time flies. =/

then i'm in the process of getting the tennis t ready. but sadly too rushed. i can only get it halfway during the tournament. oh wells. but better than nothing right? i'm waiting for the final design to be done. cant wait! haha.

oh ya and i had napfa yesterday. so now i am aching like MAD. walk sit stand also got problem. i officially hate the stairs now. lucky today's training was wuite alright. if not i would have died. i got a silver. missed by a tiny margin to get gold. but it doesnt matter. i'm satisfied. hahaha =P

yesterday was the highlight of my ENTIRE WEEK so far. it was more than words could use to explain. haha! i met my besties. and we went clubbing! haha. =P it was the first time we went together and not with different groups. it was fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. and even though i wasnt high i still totally enjoyed it. =PPP i'm a happy happy gal. haha!

Mambo was not that bad yesterday but they didnt play my other favourite song SUMMER RAIN. phuture was kinda bad. and lucky for me i manage to cut queue. because the queue was SO LONG. it was all the way until the entrance of the velet parking. which is so far away from the entrance. someone said that there was a queue at 8.55pm la. and the thing was it was ONLY 9.15pm. UNBELIEVEABLE however at like 2plus zouk tickets werent sold out though. lucky for me my friend saw me and his friend was infont the queue. so i manage to cut queue! and we cut quite alot of people. and there were quite a few of us. ALL GALS. haha. but only 2 were my besties the rest were one my bestie's friends. but we all kinda know each other through mentioning in the blog. haha!

-twomanybrokenheartsguiltyroomatthetopelectricdreams
lastchristmassquareroomcallmetogetherforeverETC-

Jon has left.

2008-06-28T03:37:00.003+08:00

Jon has left for Melbourne. he should still be in his SQ flight right now as i am blogging about this.

nice dinner. i'll miss him. his humour and his presence and just pure hanging out. he just left and i cant wait for him to get back already. things feels different. it's not like he's away on a holiday. but away for long term. =[

i guess no one noticed. which is a good thing i guess.

the group at Pasta Fresca.

the other group with addition and missing people.

1. Me Jon Cheryl. 2. the GUYS 3. the GALS 4. DOTA gang

in the cab home from hong kong cafe after airport.

-nowicantwaitfortimetoreallyflybyreallyquickly-

2008-06-25T02:16:00.004+08:00

Random.

hmmm. come to think of it. i realise this thing has been on my mind for YEARS. and today i guess i have come to a conclusion for it.

basically cause i am afraid. plus parents. so i chose to er 'hide' cant find a proper word. because i like it actually. but my parents, i dont think so. they are super sensitive to the word. in fact they can go all a little crazy on it.

and i realise also my words are all so abstract. kinda. so it's a little hard to figure out what i'm saying cause it's a not complete jigsaw. so if you wanna know more. haha =P

-breakfreegetupanddance-

school.

2008-06-22T21:54:00.007+08:00

i think it's a kinda long post. haha

tomorrow is the starting of the next chapter of my life. i can feel that i have no more free time left. everything is going to start crashing in already. gah! i will survive this until next year when i graduate. where i have my next set of problems to think about like going where to further my studies. i'm thinking about it already. just cant seem to decide. how indecisive right? haha

hmmm alright time to update for the past week. oh but first the party held on sat for weiwen's and asriel's birthday. it was fun. =)

1. group photo 2. 3 EMO guys hahaha 3. GALS! with er an extra. =P 4. pimp!

monday till friday was tennis camp! bonding on wed when we took a break off training as well. i have become TANN. and TANN. uneven somemore. =[ like white chicken and roasted chicken. haha! below is the photo of the stay over on the first night! till 3 am. cam whoring! hahaha =P

1. in the dance studio. 2,3&4 cam whoring at the tracks

wednesday was team bonding! went bowling ice skating dinner at fish and co and watched get smart! super funny comedy. everyone should go and watch it! =) i enjoyed it and that day as well. kinda never felt that happy for such a long time. =)

ice skating rink!

the last 2 were taken in oriental hotel where we used their washrooms after the movie! haha =P

everything was weird somehow cause of some misunderstanding here and there in the team. POLITICS SUCKS. and some people are just difficult cause they never say what they want. so you dont know what to do with them. and it just sucks. irritating I HATE IT. and like to play the disappearing act. like what in the world. o.o let it go and your life will be better.

friday night we mahjonged. and weirdly enough i was losing all the way but ended up winning a bit of money haha! it was a weird night with weird emotions. i have no idea why. couldnt figure out the reason.

saturday i watched KUNGFU PANDA. omg. it's super cute super cartoon. haha what am i talking about of course it's a cartoon. haha. super funny also. then did a little LITTLE shopping at a shop where i wont buy things from. haha. cause my sister and sister in law wanted to see that clothes there cause of some connection can get cheaper. haha

sunday didnt go for my morning class cause it was POURING LIKE MAD so darn difficult to drive in that kinda rain. so 2 weeks never go already. then went for a quick lunch at parkway then headed down to suntec to watch the incredile hulk. super exciting. haha. i could feel my heart beating faster as well. HAHA! the ending was kinda surprising. hmm or rather something different. kinda makes me cant wait for the next part. and the cinema was FREEZING. i had my sweater 3/4 pants and i was freezing. haha.

i have a mission to accomplish in 17 days. how in the world am i going to do that. i'm screwed like SUPER SCREWED. dang dang. i need like the utlimate motivation!! and determination and all!!!! let's just see how well i will be able to manage it. come on!

-when-

happy?

2008-06-15T14:39:00.002+08:00

what comes to your mind when you read the following:

"but why is it so hard? is the pursuit of happiness making me miserable instead?"

i just came across this newspaper article and it kinda applies. plus considering what has been happening to me for the past few days. i really neeeda reflect and start concentrating on myself.

so i wanna quote some words from the author of the article of I so want to be happy in the sunday times page 11. (in case you wanna go and read)

and i wanna say i usually dont read the newspaper unless i am forced to or have nothing to do at all. but i can say i got lucky today.

-

"when a dream comes true, you dont always get the happiness you thought would come with it;
happiness is not something you can feel every moment of the day;
happiness comes in small doses, so just be grateful for that;
it's pointless to wish for a big happiness because it wont happen;
perhaps happiness is overated."

"happiness is subjected to the law of diminishing returns - to attain something you wish for does make you happy, but only up to a point beyond that, more and more of that things adds less and less to your happiness."

"the trick perhaps is to learn to live for the moment and appreciate what you have"

-

so maybe when you are searching aimlessly and chasing for happiness it might just be infront of you, staring at you. and maybe because of constantly searching for happiness is the reason as to why you're always find yourself being unhappy.

-sowhatareyouwaitingfornow-

damaged

2008-06-14T04:23:00.002+08:00

everyone is not perfect. and they did something wrong. so if they are going to try and change will you give them the second chance?

i need that second chance. will you give it to me?

guess i'm not afraid to say it anymore that i needa more help than i ever can get.

i am not sad i am not emo. i am just thinking.

I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, damaged

-whenwillthetimecome-

new

2008-06-13T00:29:00.002+08:00

i feel dumb. come to think of it. yesterday made no sense. screwed up.

and i swear upon my own life that nothing like that would ever happen again.

new set of rules
new set of perception
new me

friends are friends.
family is family
they are different.

i've got to let it go. it's time.

-enoughsaid-

2008-06-11T13:20:00.002+08:00

what is the recipe to happiness? i kinda lost it over night. dang. this feeling sucks.

mambo tonight. what will happen. what will i do.

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

-kindaseemslikefairytaleneverdohappen-

dreams.

2008-06-10T05:00:00.003+08:00

i know i'm mad. blogging at 5am in the morning how interesting. haha.

today wasnt so bad. it past really quickly cause as usual i slept to my FILL. haha not surprising. did a few errands for my mum took care of her. then went off to meet the GAL FRIENDS when my sister took over to look after my mum. we planned to ktv and sing our hearts and lungs out. interesting things happen. it's like how guys wont see what happen in gals outing and how gals wont see what happen in guys outing. cause it's different. =P

i enjoyed myself with the gals. no matter how far we seem to be. we're kinda close. the invisible bond. =) just a picture to sum it all up. love you gals! =)

just another thing to add below =)

DREAMS. to me is an unknown mysterious interesting surprising nice bad scary thing. cause you never know if it's what it's really meant to be or it's what you want from deep inside of you.

you know how you just dream sometimes in the day and in the night when you're asleep? for once in a very long while, i dreamt. and i remembered it. sadly it ended really quickly though. but i was happy in it. it was my fairy tale. the fairy tale that i couldnt explain when i was asked to. it wasnt perfect but it was what i wanted. it was simply just nice.

however dreams that you dream in your sleep never do come true do they? or is that what people usually say? or will they come tue if you hold onto faith and keep waiting? will the day that i've been waiting for happen. oh and you know how the dreams that you dream about will slowly diseappear from your memories? i really hope it wouldnt for this one.

Lookin' at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget

-sowhatisnext-

sometimes they come back

2008-06-09T01:10:00.002+08:00

i'm back. just felt like talking. just feeling alot of emotions now.

memories from the past 7 months came back. about how i screwed things up. about the good times i had. about the bad times i had. about my regrets. about how i wish i would turn back time. about how i wish things could be more. about the friendship that has nutured over the time. about the little changes in people. (not drastically) =)

the person i am now. how much i've actually changed to become this. who i am. and i not longer afraid to say that i am starting to like the person i am now. it doesnt hurt to be upset. it doesnt hurt to be happy. but it hurts to see the people you care for being sad. and there will always be people around for them. like me. i might not been through alot but i've been through my fair share i believe.

to my friends who are sad. now there are 2. dont be sad. it's not the end of the world. it's not your loss. it's theirs. after every rain there will be a rainbow somewhere. someday you'll find it. and you have friends around you that care and will be there for you. talk hangout do crazy things. that's what friends are for. and the 2 of you are wonderful friends to me. more than anything can ever ask for. because i have never been very good with people and all i can say is thanks for being my friend. i'm here for you now and always.

and i wanna say thanks to the person who has always been there for me. you're just simply amazing because you're just you. and that's more than enough for me. i dont know how to make it up to you cause it seems like i'm usually the one with the problems. no matter how many thanks i say i'll still feel it's not enough for what you've done for me. thank you.

remember i said in the previous post about how poeple leave? well..

-sometimestheycomeback-

-peoplealwaysleave-

2008-06-08T17:11:00.002+08:00

it was about time i got to blog for my readers to read. haha. my life isnt that exciting. i've been wanting to blog just couldnt get to it. my best friend is in a faraway land now so it's pretty much empty somehow. cause it has become a thing whereby i see her everyweek oh wells.

nothing much this whole week besides friday saturday and sunday.

term test was alright i guess. interview was just. let me say that i dont wanna talk about it. shopping became so so. long long story which is officially over tomorrow but i pretty much think its over already. and there's nothing i can do about it. quite upsetting but i'm done being upset. thanks to those who asked.

i'm currently extremely sleepy only had 2hours of sleep and thus not exactly the mood to blog. i'll cont later. there are just some things i wanna say but i wanna catch a nap first. =)

-peoplealwaysleave-

2008-05-31T01:13:00.004+08:00

hhahaha. the 2 photos that were taken today. there are more with my sis but she has yet to send it to me. and i think i look really pretty different in both the photos. haha =P but i like both the photos. =)

oh yes and thank you so much for those who commented on my tag. and it would be nice if passerby x would like to tell me how is he or she. =)

hmmm. here's the thing. let me use A, B and C as the people.
so A, B and C were in the car. then B played this song on the cd in the car. then A went what song is this. B went like you never hear before one la. then C said it's not nice right (something like that) immediately B went like shut up in a very HARSH tone. then the car was QUIET. right i know C was hurt no doubt directly after the shut up was said. even if it wasnt directing to A. A could feel that C would hurt after hearing that given A was in C's shoes. a while later B said C should start watching what C says cause one day C is just going to get scolded. from that time on C became real quiet. =/

i know la. when you like something then someone else dont like then say they dont like then you get offended but you do not need to use such a tone on people what. they were just stating their own opinions. could have said something like i like can already. or anything that isnt that harsh. hurting people's feelings isnt a very nice thing. and the person who got hurt confrim doesnt want to feel hurt as well. especially if the person who did the hurting still didnt realise that he/she actually hurt the other person. =/

comments? opinions? please let me know. thanks =)

-whatamisupposetodonow-

rants

2008-05-29T10:18:00.003+08:00

okay i am going to sleep now. cause i only had eye shut from 5.30am this morning. haha. amazing.

anyways i wanna rant. cause i have no idea how a message that says 'i've no school' becomes to i have school and need to wake up to go to school. o.o and i thought i had to wake up cause i was going to help my mum collect her car and not cause of going to school. zzz it's like super no connection between a yes and a no word. it's SO different how can mix up the 2 of them. o.o so i kinda wake up so early for nothing and got dragged out of bed and out of the house just cause of it when i could have slept in longer. =[

and why no one comes and tells me about my previous post?!?! =(

pain

2008-05-29T01:46:00.002+08:00

right. i have offically injuried myself again. zzz. bad luck period of time? =[ stinks big time!! now sit also pain walk also pain bend also pain. zzz hopefully it'll go away real soon cause it hurts la!!!! =[

hmm anyways i cant decide on which one to choose so you all whose reading this can decide for me. either tag my board or talk to me on msn!! PLEASE and THANKS!

both of them are of different themes. so i cant decide. either the cooler one or the cuter one. i needa decide by thurs night actually. =[ so hurry give me your comments!!! =)))

-whylikethat-

please vote

2008-05-27T02:13:00.003+08:00

hi all temasek poly people who are currently looking at this.

please vote for my friend. thanks! =)

hmmm there's nothing much to say today. cant think of anything special. besides just finding out a new interesting fact/gossip kinda that i didnt know. haha

oh yes and mid sem/term test next week. 3 papers i end on thurs. all the best to me. =[

-howhowhow-

i guess i know why

2008-05-25T13:28:00.002+08:00

i think maybe i've finally figured out why when i just look at my wallpaper and a smile will form on my face.

friendships are hard to find and when you build it up, they stay for the longest time.

-loveisadifferentthing-

2008-05-24T02:29:00.002+08:00

i just wanna say some things but it's not going to be long tonight.

i've finally come to believe that it's really alright for you to say that you're not okay. it's not something to be afraid of saying. because that usually means that someone cares about you by asking if you're okay/alright or not. and you should be happy that there people who cares for you. just cause you are who you are.

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around

and love comes in many different meanings. all depends on how you look at it.

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
it;s time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

finally you needa convince me that you'll listen to me talk in the first place if you realise what usually happens when i actually try talking to you. here's the thing. since when we do actually have heart to heart talk. not just talking about you and me i mean about the others. everything we know is on the surface. and beneath the surface everything else is grey. that's how connected we all are. but i know one thing is that we're united still even though we're not that bonded together. cause i know for sure that we are able to go through bad times together as a family.

We could be more than just

we could be more than just amazing

And all I've been doing is protecting

A lie for the sake of my pride

And all the others set me thinking

We could be more than just amazing

-timepassessofastwhenyourethinking-

Always be My Baby

2008-05-23T02:26:00.003+08:00

David Cook! =)

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

omg. i need to say this after reading something. zzz. and it's only supposedly for one person. highly think that she will see this. let me tell you something it's URGENT or else why in the world will i wanna use something that is not mine. and before this time you had your own facilities too. that's why use your own. and for goodness sake it'a a GAME. NOT life and death. i cant believe you know. like seriously. and goodness we're talking over blogs. goodness. and we stay under one roof. how interesting right? and not say when you wanna use i dont let you use. so i think you should stop thinking that everything you do is to let me. and simply forget about the times when i did things for you as well. thanks so much for thinking so lowly of me. i have nothing to say to you from now on. and i'm serious about that.

-iwannaplayinsummerrain-

2008-05-20T02:13:00.003+08:00

i guess the word sad occurs to everyone almost every day. seems like today i was reading 2 sad posts from people. which obviously brings back memories too la. some which is good and some which is bad. now i really wonder who lives in a mask everyday.

therefore i hereby have decided to do whatever i want with my life what's life without taking risks and being happy? =P

for the good ones i've decided to just keep them as memories. as for the bad ones let me just put it at the back of my mind. and i'm glad to say i dont feel anything about it. maybe cause there's where i'm different from you. i suppose that is for the better.

and i'm sad to say why you never mention anything like that to me before? =[ and maybe it'd help if you keep putting the bad things that happened when that comes across your mind then hopefully you'll feel better? you can always talk to me you know? we know each other for so long already and there's nothing we dont talk about right?

Because in life there are a few things which cannot be rewind.
The word, truth or lie, after it's said.
The occasion, happy or sad, after the loss.
The time, good or bad, after it's gone.

-thetimehascometoletgoofyourselfandenjoycauseyoudeserveit-

2008-05-18T01:39:00.002+08:00

hahaha! the following photo above was taken from the camera in my RED vaio lappy! so cool right. haha. i've been playing with that ever since la. extremely cute also. haha. got different other templates and all but not alot la.

-todaywasntthatbadaday-

2008-05-17T03:19:00.001+08:00

is it drifting or is it attracting?

i have no idea.

put the past behind.

the future is waiting.

it's time for the rainbow to come out after the rain.

today was pretty amazing

2008-05-16T02:05:00.002+08:00

haha! i'm kinda happy and satisfied with myself. haha. why? reason being cause i felt really good with all the hitting today during training. i think i really hit the living day lights out of the ball. and when i was rallying before training actually started, someone said i was owning him. haha. highly maybe cause today is my day. haha! really really like quite alot of the shots that i was hitting today. but not exactly during matches though. kinda keep screwing up. and my swing feels different too. haha! but overall it's above my expectation for today! haha =))))

and i think my knee is getting better already. phew. i needa train up my stamina. so i think i will do physical next tues on. and only stop if my knee is giving me the problem. so let's hope i'll be able to match up to the physical level next week and not die. i really needa push hard also. missed 3 training of doing physical. and that's bad. =[ ok. jia you to me! hahaha =PP

-omgiamstayinguplaterandlatereachnightisthatgoodorbad-

okae okae

2008-05-15T00:49:00.002+08:00

yes yes. i know i've been told more than once already. i guess i just need more time to change things to the right way alright? it's has become like a tattoo maybe. needa laser off and laser takes a long time to get rid of the ink in the skin and yet still some will remain. so let's see how much i can actually get rid off.

and i've got a laptop! not fanatastic but i like it nonetheless =P

-whatcomestoyourmindwhenisayRED?-

2008-05-13T23:47:00.002+08:00

hmmm. blogging cause i got nothing better to do. haha. just read someone's blog. and i am extremely amazed by how the way she actually blogs it. it makes me wanna read on. but she only blogs like in once in a blue moon. really really rare. like barely once a month. oh wells.

and yes. i've got to say this. many thanks to ELISE (read my tags and my previous post if you wanna know why) firstly i will NEVER and i literally mean NEVER expect her to do such a thing for me. so i'm really really touched. =)) oh in case you who is read my blog now dont know. ELISE is my sister. even though we fight like nobody's business she's still my little sister. =))

another thing. if you are a frequent blog reader of mine. i would have no idea who you are but either ways. i said that some things around me will change. and i'm right. it is changing. maybe some of you are not noticing it. but i am. to me it is. slowly which means by the time the sem ends. everything is going to be so so so so so so so so different. oh wells people change as time passes and there are many things which is pretty much out of your control. it takes 2 hands to clap remember? =[

i need to find a way to channel all my free time and all my nothing to do time. i need to stop being so free.

i'm feeling super frustrated now. like really to the extreme cause i've just received some news. which means i cant be able to get the thing that i want and like. cause i'm short of some. shit. damn it. how how how. screwed up. i needa a solution which currently i cant think so any at all.

why does it seem like everything is going downhill for me? z z z not forgetting my knee. might just injure it further today. but i have no idea. i'll just see how it goes tomorrow.

-orisitthatiamaskingforistoomuch?-

updates.....

2008-05-13T01:39:00.002+08:00

right. it's been one week since i've injuried my knee. i think i can say it's getting better. not as bad as it was already like duh right? haha one week past. haha. =P but it still kinda hurts when i put wrong pressure on it or over pull/stretch that part of the knee. and worst of all the tourney is coming in july. with everyone busy doing physical in training. i cant do. why. cause of the knee la. then i'll be the most extremely super unfit one out of all. =[ nevermind. wait till my knee is recovered which i hope really really soon then i'll go train up. =P haha. but i dont think it'll take that quickly cause my legs like to move around. i've been walking around and i went for dance classes just now. and at times i accidentally felt the pain as well. tried my best to aviod what ever pain that i could. =/ but still got i a few times. =[ oh wells. it's okay. i'm looking on the brighter side.

right. so i was just wondering if you had the money would you spend it and be happy and not spend it and be not so happy with what you have? i'm talking about materialistic things here. in my talking context it's a notebook. notebook as in laptops. haha. not writing note book. just in case. haha! =P well i got one last person to talk to before i finalise my decision though. hmmm.

there are some things in life which you have lost already and can never be found and returned to you. it's sad. but know what. you just have got to embrace and live with it. no choice even though it stinks real bad. oh wells.

oh ya. just in case you all who reads my blog didnt notice i've this spamer on my tag name sighs. he or she has got nothing better to do in his or her life and has got to spam my blog. and now i'm telling that person i can no longer be bothered with your tags. i deleted some cause it's spam but i got tired of having to delete already. cause you're a nobody so why should i be bothered with you? plus you've got no guts dont dare to put your real name down. =P which means my life is indeed better than yours even though i'm not exactly happy but happy enough =P

iwannabehappier!

2008-05-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

the theatre drama was something unexpected. i actually surprised myself and enjoyed it. how interesting. haha.

i took a trip down memory lane in the car on the way back after the show after supper in T3. i wasnt emo. =P it was nice memories. =)

mozzie mozzie mozzie

2008-05-07T23:56:00.002+08:00

i swear there is so so so so so so so many mozzies around nowadays. just TOO MANY. i've like so many bites when i use to have NONE. =[ or maybe my blood is just getting sweeter. either ways it's still ZZZ. i needa find a way to get the mozzies to GO AWAY. =[

i slept the morning away. am thinking to wake up early tomorrow morning and do something that i think is constructive. haha. that is if i decide to wake up in the first place. haha

on another note. my knee is hurting when put pressure on. or when i press that spot. i cant even do push ups now cause somehow the pressure that is applied on my knee makes it pain. =[ let's just hope it gets better really quick.

hmm. prolly no one will notice what i did. haha! what a sentence.

i needa rant! due to the stupid inflation, even the movie tickets prices increases! like i had to pay 10 dollars for a sneak i watched today!! like O.O totally zzz. needa go get the discount credit cards. makes the ticket cheaper by 1 or 2 dollars. not alot but in the long run i believe it's alot. =[ stinks.

caught What Happens in Vegas. i kinda liked it though. come to think of it i feel kinda silly. keep smiling to myself the throughout the whole show then even after at the end i was smiling like such a silly person. haha. =P anyways shall not spoil the movie for those who wanna catch it. haha =P

-kindawanttimetopassfasteryetagainidontknow-

2008-05-04T09:47:00.003+08:00

makes me really wonder why people even bother to tag or i would say spam when they do not want people to know who they are. nothing better to do? o.o

2008-05-03T21:57:00.002+08:00

today is a boring day. tonight is boring as well. and thus the random thoughts i'm having now. i'm thinking. what do i want. what am i expecting. what in the world am i doing. where are my answers?

i keep playing back the same scene. just thinking and thinking. but it still seems the same. i want a mind reader.

seems like i under estimated. put myself under too much pressure that i over reacted for. i thought wrong. well. at least i know i manage to let it out. thanks. =)

and now i'm thinking of investing in a laptop. anyone any suggestions? sony vaio? mac? acer? dell? fujitsu? however, still in the thinking process. i've been over this topic for the longest time ever and i have yet to convince myself that i need a lappy. it's more of a want for me i guess.

they say the song that you like is usually the song that best describles how you're feeling. here i am wondering how true is that.

FABER DRIVE - Tongue Tied

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

-thewatersthebreezethestarstheskytheviewtakeawaymybreath-

2008-05-02T02:05:00.002+08:00

i wanna blog. but i dont know what to say. i am feeling weird. my head is spinning. my stomach is churning. i want my ice cream.

school school school

2008-04-30T00:51:00.002+08:00

today is the longest day ever in school. every tues is going to be like that which is totally just zzz. i start at 11 and end at 9. school ends at 6. training starts at 6. and ends at 9. drag drag leave school at 10 for dinner. reach home 12am. wow. haha. but lucky for me i dont have school on weds!! wee~

today had trials for the team intake. i am surprised. haha. cause last year's intake for gals was kinda bad. but this year for the gals. it is indeed not bad. hahah! maybe we can form our team! =) haha. i dont exactly rememebr for the guys but there are a few who are better than a few who are already in the team. in other words COMPETITION. woo~! and there will be a cut for the gals! in a long long long long long we haven had a cut. so things are going to be interesting this time round! hahahahah! =P oh yes and i didnt know some of them actually knew me as my cousin's cousin. haha i was super surprised when i heard that. haha! didnt know my name travelled so far.. haha

maybe i'm just being sensitive. but i feel that things are changing already. like bit by bit. like things around my friends and things around me. like since school started everything isnt the same already that kinda thing. goodness me. and i think it's only me who is thinking this way. cause someone said it's unnatural for me to think this way. it's really weird la. somehow or another. ah ah ah ah ah ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. oh wells.

school

2008-04-29T00:15:00.002+08:00

school has passed for like one week already. i'm going to be busy busy real soon. i've got job training school and dance. super busy. yay! i like. but i'll make time for people too. =)

oh. haha something random. i exercised everyday last week. i hope to do the same for this week too and keep it up! haha! =P that would be too good. then after i'll period of time i'll be fit fit fit. haha! that sounds nice enough already. totally random.

and yes. i'm blogging cause that gal said i haven blogged in such a long time but i did. see it's on the 25th when i last blogged not like 5th. you got the dates mixed up. =P and i hope you enjoyed the rest of your dinner with me as your EXTREMELY BRIGHT LIGHTBLUB. haha. i'm going to be killed for that.

haha. sadly muscles weigh heavier than fats which means i needa burn more fats than my muscle is building up. dang. that means i've got a lot of workout to do. zzz. stinks totally.

pantat!

exercise

2008-04-25T00:20:00.002+08:00

ok. i've been working out quite a bit. but i just realise if i dont watch what i put into my mouth it wouldnt make a difference. cause i just had ice fossil fuel ben and jerry's ice cream. which was so nice. haha. which kills too. cause too much sugar! =[

there's not much time for me to squeeze. but i'll try to make the best of it. i will plan it out somehow.

2 lectures awaits me. i hope they're not boring and wont kill me. this sem is a good sem. i'm having a good start. so let me just hope it stays the same way.

i'm aching badly la. zzz =[

haha and no haha

2008-04-22T00:04:00.001+08:00

hmm. basically slept the whole day through.

got up then went to buy some stuff then headed down to meet my gal friend. then we went for classes!

haha. 2 classes. liked the 2nd one better than the 1st one. so kinda cant wait for the next class to start. haha! =P

hmm. i really hope this period hurry blows away. it's kinda killing me softly...

full moon.

2008-04-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

the sky was clear. the moon was full and round. the air was still. the walk home from the bus stop was scary with the oh so quiet road that hardly has cars passing by at night. i'm glad i just got home safely.

just thought of somethings on the walk back. and there. something bout regretting came up. i hate regrets. but i did it once again. and probably wont be the same anymore. cause you just make the silliest and the most stupid mistakes ever without thinking properly through and there goes. you're screwed. or rather you just screw that part up yourself and sulk and regret. and it seems that i am unable to put this behind me. it happened kinda long ago already. and now when i think of it. i go like why did i do that. why didnt i do otherwise. cause if i did i think the out come would be different. oh wells. it's too late with no turning back to before to make things right.

moonlight.

2008-04-18T23:25:00.003+08:00

it's the weekends already. school is starting! and i have a wonderful timetable and i can work part time. totally suits! =)

had sushi buffet lunch. not bad. different company. different kinda talk. some weird times but it was ok. everyone was pretty much sporting.

went to watch the forbidden kingdom. not a bad show. quite funny though. an ang moh kung fu show. with a funny twist to it the way they say things. super like timmy. just that they dont use names they use like she she kinda thing. haha =)

after a long time i returned. haha. the beach was nice. the sky was brightly lighted with the almost full moon and i could see my shadow. not under light but just the moon light. so nice =)

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. =)

hmm.

2008-04-17T03:32:00.002+08:00

i guess we're okay already. i dont know but it seems that way. and i'm hoping it stays that way. it doesnt feel weird anymore. and i'm so not allowing it to happen again. so please. bless me. haha

it was alright. wasnt as good as i expected it to me. some people were constantly stepping on my nerves. and i'm serious. totally just not right. then the music was so so. the crowd was zzz. but the company was really not that bad. just that at the beginning it was weird. like totally weird. it was so weird when we talked as well. he just listen and we were like talking bout all sorts of things haha. and i highly think he'll be reading this soon or somehow or another. haha.

i kinda miss the times...

invisible wall.

2008-04-16T01:57:00.002+08:00

i got nothing to do. went around browsing my old photos and friendster and facebook.

then in friendster i came across the horoscope part. it says:

There is an invisible barrier between you and someone else right now -- walls that you can't see or touch, but which are holding you back just as if they were twenty feet tall and made of brick. If you really want to break through to this person, you have got to do it with charm and patience -- not with a big old wrecking ball! Take care when dealing with others, and they will take care when dealing with you. Wait for them to open a door, and then you will be invited in.

sounds almost true. but yea. i've decided to just wait till you're ready. cause i'm ready and will just keep waiting till you're ready to take the next step.

wed today is a horrible day. somehow it sounds terrible already to me. ai ya. whatever la!

there's a few things on my to do list though.
1. pack my room - i swear my things are just pilling up.
2. pack my warrdrobe - my clothes are almost spilling out. ha
3. go swimming - most prob with myself =P

the new school term is starting already. somehow or another i cant wait for it to start.

oh ya and i am most probably going to join dancing classes. hahaha! i cant believe it also. just for the fun of it. let's just take that as in investment. sounds alrights.

Play that Funky Music

2008-04-13T18:23:00.002+08:00

i think i might have enough of listening to music. esp those that will just kill my emotions.

i know yesterday was bad. i know i was in the wrong. i know you're most prob still angry at me for what i did. and i admit at being at fault. gosh. i really hope things will okay real really soon cause i'm affected by it. and i dont want things to change for the worst. =/

the sky got brighter earlier than i expected it today.

I'M BACK! again.

2008-04-11T21:26:00.002+08:00

haha. i'm back again.
the weather in cheng mai is 38 degrees. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. haha, bought a few things. not alot. ok. this time i bought things for people. haha. small though. so yea. =/

anyways just random. i wanna watch movie!! a movie marathon!! i wanna watch Run Papa Run cause of Louis Koo. Definitely, Maybe cause i just like to watch that kinda show and Street Kings cause of Kenau Reeves. haha! =P

then i might just be outdated on my songs. haha. i need the radio! =P

last week oh holis already. i wonder is the timetable out. needa go and check. =[

leaving.

2008-04-07T21:27:00.002+08:00

and yes. i'm leaving again. this time for supposedly 4days.

i am off to cheng mai. tomorrow morning. escaping from reality or leaving my world here to another place where i dont have to worry about what's happening here.

today was fun. i enjoyed myself. spent about 6 hours at sentosa and harbour front with my darling gal. and i am burnt. =[ stinks. but i am tann. =P i wanna do that soon. again.

watched semi pro. isnt that bad la. funny and retarded. had fun laughing. maybe that was what i needed. directly indirectly. i dont know. haha =P

in the end. i didnt regret my decision. at least for now maybe till for a while i wouldnt regret it? right. what am i talking about again? haha. for me to know and for you to find out. haha. maybe this para is just for fun. who knows. HA =P

-byebye! miss me =P-

just some random thoughts

2008-04-07T01:05:00.003+08:00

just thinking around. doing some random thoughts. realise that my life is somehow still in a mess. it's really seriously time to straighten things out, get back on track and dont be so like me now. haha. but one thing for sure. i'm always myself. never trying to be someone else. of course there were times when i wanted to impress but i dont know if i did or not that is. haha.

emotions getting out of hand now and this these few days. bad bad bad.

and time for more exercise! when i come back from my trip that is. =P

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories even though

-just being random - like totally -

i cant believe myself.

2008-04-05T04:26:00.002+08:00

haha. yesterday till now has been quite amusing. haha!

basically rot the whole day away at home after waking up at 12 plus. supposed to go down to the office to give them some materials that they need from me but in the end didnt go. cause the person in charge was busy.

then later in the evening then i decided to go and hit. play some tennis. in the end didnt hit much also. then was hitting badly. gah. totally stinks. then later i got to wake up in anothr 4 hours to go to school for friendlies with acjc. haha.

and i just got home at 4.25am. i left the house at 12.05am. how interesting. and guess what. i went to zouk. free entry to velvet somemore. but i didnt club. the whole night i only drank half a glass of champange. haha. =P i was sitting and looking at people. then went off to clarke quey to find some of my friends. hang around a while then head back to zouk just nice my brother was leaving. then we went for supper. haha. =P

zouk was extremely crowded today. even velvet which i think isnt usually that crowded is extremely packed. haha. cause zouk had some f1 formulae thing. that's why so many people. i could say today is kinda healthy 'clubbing'. haha. =P

and i realised that people that my brother hangs out with are all rich and not arrogant. and they seem quite nice people. =) and that they talk about things that are really interesting. totally different from what we as in people around me would talk about. i am glad that i am exposed to more things.

oh. and i like my dressing today. really random but yea. haha. sorry no pictures for you who didnt see me. haha! =P think i will wear like that more often. =P

i'm so going to die after playing tennis then got to make contacts and i'm thinking of making new specs and then i have family dinner to go to at night. sure knock out. haha.

let me survive the long day~ haha!

talk.

2008-04-04T01:36:00.002+08:00

my brother talked to me. tonight. at like 12am plus. then i was expecting an irritating nagging talk kinda thing. but it turned out not that bad. but i still dont like to talk to him. haha! i found out a few interesting things. and well. many things for me to learn still. the world is big yet small at the same time. haha.

i'm back!

2008-04-01T01:33:00.005+08:00

I'M BACK FROM HONG KONG!!!
miss me anyone?
haha
=P

hong kong wasnt fanatastic but it was ok la. felt as though i still didnt visit enough of hong kong. haha. i wanna go back there again. haha! and this time with someone who knows canto. HAHA! =P

below are some photos from the trip. more photos click the link!
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=2BbOWjRo5ZOKA&notag=1

the ladies

Disneyland Hong Kong!!
the balloons are expensive.
ocean park. the retarded croc

the LONG elevator

the MTR to disneyland (MTR is like our MRT)

just arrived in hk

hotel room super small
hotel rooom toilet
the view is nice

the tram to the peak

oh yes. good news for me! i've got a job! with good pay. and the supervsiors dont look like hard people to work with and with little working hours!! haha. very flexible and i can plan my own work schedule!!!! WEE~~ haha. but work doesnt start till may. so i still can play. haha!

and another thing. i feel alone. cause people are overseas. haha! random but like i cant seem to keep wanting them to come back like really quickly that kinda thing. haha. =P

i am flying away again on tues and only coming back on friday. yup. so you people can miss me somemore. haha! KIDDING. =P

hong kong

2008-03-26T05:32:00.000+08:00

i'm off! hong kong here i come. see you all after 5 days. =)

2008-03-24T02:49:00.002+08:00

right it's been 6 days. since i've blogged. and the time when i last blogged i wasnt really feeling as good i suppose. and i'm not feeling as good now. from all that drinking now when i burp. there's this kinda burning feeling in my chest. and i think it's a sign of over drinking. which means i've got to cut down on my drinking. oh wells.

i've been doing some thinking. bout my trip. bout what has been happening lately to my life. bout what i've been doing with my life that sort of thing. maybe some things are meant to be remembered and some things are not. maybe some things are meant to be freed and some things are meant to be held on to. there are times which will be hard. which means i've got to embrace it i suppose. that gathering that day. i dont even know whether to call it a good thing or a bad thing. but i'm looking it at such that another one's not going to happen any soon at all.

right i am flying off in another 52 hours. suitcase is not packed. going to get it packed. then needa visit the money changer. get things done with the phone. making sure that i do actually not miss out anything that i have to bring to hk. this and that. gah. oh wells. well i guess not feeling exactly right now. but nevermind it.

hmmm.

2008-03-18T00:18:00.002+08:00

rights. i'm not pissy or anything from the previous post already. haha. i have offically wasted another day at home. with only leaving the house for half an hour to visit the doctor to get a flu jab. and to cure the remaining of my flu. it's been here for 2 weeks already. how much longer than it get before it's cured. omg. haha =P

oh just another random thought that came into my mind. if you're constantly looking for your the other half then you'll eventually find one? then how bout if you're not looking for one. then the one appears infront of you then how? haha. some randomess that i had. haha.

looking forward to watch greys and oc from tomorrow onwards. haha. =P to occupy myself and not just staring into the computor screen doing nothing. i wanna be busy! =/

blew temper at myself again.

2008-03-17T12:47:00.002+08:00

i swore i woke up on the wrong side of bed this early afternoon. called the operator twice just to make sure i will be able to get my supp card application form all and get the card by next monday before i really fly off on wed. then here come the trouble i put the form under the door and everything. is signing a form that hard. takes like a hell of how long to sign a form. wa piang. i swear i'm stressing myself out again. and i swear if i'm not going overseas without my parents for hell will i need the card. and the thing is i'm asking for the card because of the irritating bird flu that is going on over there now if not i couldnt see a need in it also. i'm getting it cause of emergency la. and i just recevied a message saying that he will settle it and i will be able to get it that kinda thing. i dont know how. but it's just pissing me off badly. i dont know why but it is. and it's getting on my nerve. and know what. the hk trip is starting to piss me off. i have no idea when are we going to collect the tickets. i have no idea if the hotels are booked. i have no idea if the insurance have been done. and i need to go to the doctor. cause the doctor is freaking having a break now so i cant go down. and i need to settle the car insurance thing also. keeps slipping out of my mind. damn it. even after ranting i dont feel better. what the hell is wrong.

family day~

2008-03-16T02:39:00.002+08:00

hmmm. i should say yesterday. haha.

saturday was kinda family day. slept the day away till early afternoon. got up slacked around the house then went out with family to vivo. bought myself another pair of slippers. haha. then came home. then went out for dinner with family. haha. fun fun actually. =)

played with my nephew nonstop. he's super duper uber cute cutie. haha. =P super fun. then can train arm mucles at the same time. haha.

my friend just showed me a webpage where this person was talking about gals with make up and without makeup can be extremely different. haha. make up some how changes the person's face. to make it more attractive or less attractive. sadly to say the surface does not determine the inner side of the person. oh wells. shan't go further into this topic. i think i will just bore people out. much less than what i usually blog about. haha. i think my own blog is boring. haha

i am bored now. shall go look for something else to do and wait for the server to allow me to go in. haha. =P

Reason Season Lifetime

2008-03-11T23:53:00.004+08:00

-
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life. . . . . . .
. . .. . . . . whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
-

the above was taken out from an email i received. meaningful. kinda similar to what i was talking about today. just now.

and yes i am still as indecisive as ever. 2 people with the same opinion. maybe make that 3. i dont know. somehow i'm not shaken enough. wake me up somehow then. cause there's so many maybes now that i can think of.

it's not in the stars to hold our destiny but ourselves - william shakespear
it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
it's not the strong that survives it's those who survived that are strong.
someone, anyone show me the light to freedom.

oh and please feedback to me if the post below font size is better or this one is better. thanks. cause i cant seem to decide.

satisfied

2008-03-11T02:06:00.006+08:00

i am super satisfied with what i just did to my blog cause i think it's really really nice. haha =P feel free to comment. haha spent the time changing the template instead of playing viwawa. haha
i needa get up early later. in about 5 hours time. around there. got Up Your Service course at 9am. =[ paid $20 to get a cert to make my resume look nicer. haha

my life has been pretty much alright. with the same few issues hovering my mind kinda thing. still thinking of what i should do with that. oh wells. nonetheless i think i will be able to find my answer soon.

the results are coming out and i'm kinda dreading it cause i have no idea how they will turn out. i'm enjoying my holidays and my dad just asked me if i wanted to work for his company. i said no. not because i dont want to work but because i dont really have much time to work. with a little this and that all over. i'll be like out of the office real soon. haha =P

my sister is home. and we're pretty much alright. besides the random bickering and argument kinda thing which is very super common between the both of us. haha. cause we make up really fast also . weird but it's good. haha

期待爱 - 林俊杰/金莎

期待

期待你发现我的爱

无所不在我自然而然的关怀

你的存在

心灵感应的方向我一眼就看出来

是因为爱

我猜你早已发现我的爱

绕几个弯越靠近越明白

不要走开

幸福的开始就是放手去爱

p.s. the font for this blog was originally too small. putting strains on the eyes so i enlarged it. haha =P

2008-03-04T01:18:00.002+08:00

i think i miss her
i think i've been a bad friend
and a bad sibling
i shall be really nice to her from now
she shouldnt be suffering alone

i think i'm missing my sister
and the best thing is i cant believe i'm feeling this way

friends.

2008-03-03T01:38:00.003+08:00

friends come and go
who are the ones that actually stays
and who are the ones that actually bother bout you at all

got 'slapped' in the face today
with non sugar coated words
but i'm fine
i know she meant well
it was a wake up call for me

and i've decided
starting today 03march2008
reconstruction of a better me starts
for me and for the people who cares about me

THANK YOU! =)

2008-02-29T23:43:00.001+08:00

why am i still not happy. somehow it seems that even after my exams i'm still feeling pretty much screwed up. zzz. this is like bad. =[ i need something to cheer me up. =[

-leap year-

2008-02-28T17:34:00.001+08:00

haha
i'm still feeling like shit

the exams are finally over. i'm year 3. zzz

and my stomach is spoiled.

蔡淳佳 - 庆幸有你爱我

2008-02-18T20:37:00.003+08:00

握着你的手走过快乐和难过
黑夜白昼我们都曾经拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏
不如用心去感受

快乐的一刻胜过永恒的难过
黑夜过后就有日出和日落
两个人走不会寂寞
每一刻都会珍惜都会把握
庆幸有你爱我

i have so many things to say but i'm just not in the right mood.
these few days have just been crap.
i think i am just purely PMS-ing.
and doing excessive thinking.
which is just ZZZ.
BYE

dad daughter relationship

2008-02-16T02:05:00.003+08:00

dad doesnt say anything to daughter
daughter doesnt say anything to dad
what will you get when dad starts saying everything and anything that isnt good things to daughter
a volcanic eruption will happen

i hate this
i swear

and i only have one thing to say
maybe i'm just not a good enough daughter
maybe not good at all to him
cause to him i am too spoilt.

then what am i suppose to do
i'm really at my end already

how am i suppose to close the gap
that is so freaking big
like from the north pole
to the south pole

so many troubles
i am stressed and depressed and worried

and know what
only i can solve this
how much worse can things get?

i'm bleeding inside terribly

19 years on earth

2008-02-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

i have offically lived for 19 years on earth. so old so fast. zzz

i have a list of people whom i wanna thank.

people who wished me through sms:
my elder sister. joshua rachel keong abby sammie coach junyu justin eileen lk patty julie vanessa valerie syaza peiyu nigel malcom jon wei wen shi han collin ck kenneth gladys

people who wished me verbally:
my sisterS mum dad brother-in-law. gladys timmy patty pearly keong sim shawn angelia eileen abby justin jeremy peining mk kenneth

people who wished me over the phone:
rachel charmaine mk

thank you for your presents:
keong and people for the cake
gladys charmaine rachel for the nice clutch
jon shawn for the scarf
abby justin for the purple note book
kenneth for the bag
pearly patty fiona timmy for the wallet

NOTE: i am so extremely sorry if i have missed out anyone. =/

yesterday i had a mini celebration in school after training outside the tennis courts with a nice fruit cake with mango and strawberries. then had supper.

today i had my role play. went really really well. i'm glad and i did well for my summative test too. felt really good. had lunch with a couple of tennis peeps. then i was 'conned' into new york new york by abby. haha. i knew something will happen. so had a group dinner. and a slice of cake. thank you all! =)

oh and i wore heels for 13 hours. it is OMG. my feet is so sore now still. zzz. oh wells. i had a chance of being the deputy director. haha! =P

and i swear the topic of studying is so sensitive to me now. anything can just spark my short temperedness away. just with a single work of it. i still cant understand why parent esp my dad just have to keep going on and on and on about studying. why cant he see from my pov. i'm already trying so hard. that i swear i'm stressing myself out quite badly. and it's not my fault if things turn out the other way. it's not say that i want it that way. gah. and not only that. he has to keep repeating it over and over and over again. that is the most pissing me off part. like you siad it once i'll listen say itm ore than once it pisses me off and totally just irritates the hell out of me. and then i wont be able to control my temper and then will you be happy to see me blowing my top off then you'll be happier that way? GAH. totally pissing me off badly. sometimes i wished they would just understand. then i wont have to be suffering like how i am now. which kid doesnt face this kinda situation.

well. sorry if i have to end this off a bad note. i know it's my birthday and all. but my dad had to just spoil it all during the last hour of the day. so i just had to let out a bit of steam. =/

oh wells. happy birthday to me. i just have to resign to my fate. zzz

2008-02-10T02:26:00.000+08:00

it's 2.27am in the morning. i am tired. but my brain just wont stop processing some of the thoughts that are meant for other days. as the day passes, the time gets nearer. i'm kinda dreading it.

today is 4th day of chinese new year. most prob going to be sleeping my day away then doing some work. been busy for the 1st 3 days the 4th will be a break. visiting ended on the first day. wee~ haven counted how much i've collected. but i'm guessing it's a drop from last year. gah. oh wells.

and after a long time i've broken my vow. i went clubbing on the 2nd day of chinese new year. but i'm going to stick to it for another month before i decide on anything else again. that clubbing night was kinda bad.

watched 3 movies in a row from the 1st day of cny till the 3 day. first ah long then cj7 followed by kung fu dunk.

cj7 is purely retarded and funny at times. the furry ball alien dog is uber cute!

kung fu dunk is funny at times. kinda nonsense. then there were 2 hot and handsome guys in the show. and NONE of them is jay chou. hay chou cant act for nuts.

all the 3 shows were not bad la.

heard some nice things today. and it was really nice to hear such things. seems like i look too lowly at myself.

going to have a busy week for me ahead. some things that have already been planned for me. some things i needa do. last but not least study.

and again i swear there's something wrong with me and my feelings. sometimes i just wish that those feelings were not there. so at least i wont be feeling this way. it kinda sucks. how am i suppose to extract that out. i have another route. which is go on with it. either way stinks.

-someone something somehow please show me the way-

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-07T04:02:00.000+08:00

Xin Nian Kui Le!!!! =)

it should be a happy occasion. should. so let's hope it will be. anyhows i want a change of luck BADLY. so hopefully my luck will start to change from today on.

just came home from a movie at vivo gv Max. haha. watched Ah Long Pte Ltd. haha. extremely funny show. seriously. haha! so if you need some laughter in your life please go watch it. haha. and it seems like i have a whole load of movies to catch. gah. i wanna watch so so so so many. =[

somehow the burden lifted off my chest after i've said my piece. even though it might be awkward at times. i'm glad things are over finally.

time is passing oh so quickly. it would be nice if it could just slow down a little and let me enjoy the rest of my time till it's over. then i'll start afresh. with new goals new motivations new dreams and everything new. no longer the same old me you see now. maybe it's really a time for me to change totally in everthing. with determination that will stand i shall not fail.

-what lies in the future is for me to figure it out-

2008-02-05T22:01:00.000+08:00

hahaha. i say no one comment only then almost everyone went to comment. i know there'll be people who wont but nevermind. it's ok. =P THANK YOU ALL FOR COMMENTING. oh. p.s. gina... i didnt know you know my blog... o.o haha

chinese new year is in 26 hours time. i'm like in the mood yet not in the mood. oh wells. i shall dress nicely to chinese new year. just for the fun of it. then i will have no more new clothes. =/

training today was tiring. i am shagged. did alot of running here and there. my strokes are completely lacking in something which i most probably think it is the spin. all my shots too long already. zzz. oh wells. my playing has been so sucky for like 3 or 4 weeks already. zzz

one hour of calculus lecture tomorrow then heading home! going shopping with my sister! she wanna go do some last minute shopping. most prob going to parkway. the usual. i've got a little craving for macs. haha! the burgers not the fries. it's been really long since i ate them actually. haha. =P

i am food deprived for today i think. but it's ok. i had a little good food cooked by my beloved wonderful mummy. =)

nothing to say already. stinks. tata

2008-02-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

oh wells. i ask for comments i only got 1. haha. thanks Fyon. =) seems like i only have a few readers to my blog. and that's good! i think. but no comments.. =[

i went to visit the dentist today. have really clean and nice teeth now. and was told to put back my retainers. just to make sure they dont run out of place. it's going to hurt. but aint got no choice. paid money for it. oh wells.

i suddenly lost the mood to blog already. i needa pack my messy room. gah. stinks. tata.

-give me some time to think-

change of luck.

2008-02-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

i seriously think i needa change of luck. everything isnt going well for me. all my emotions flow all haywired like siao. and there are somethings which i just try to do but everything turns out the bad way. zzz. super sick and tired all things being like that. please let my luck change~

oh! and i didnt mention that i went with the tennis peeps to modestos at vivo for dinner. haha. spent like 20 dollars being very full. haha! then went to cafe iguana for some drinks and snacks. =P drank like 10 tequila shots just to finish it. and i got a cut as mention in the previous post. haha! and it still hurts. zzz

FINALLY i found a pair of shoes today which i can wear together with for chinese new year. i'm really hoping that my luck will really really change from thursday 0001 hours. =[

and i have offically spent a lot a lot on the clothes for shinese new year. an extreme shopping spree. i have a total of ten new clothes. 2 dresses, 2 skirts, 3tops, 1 pair of white jeans, 2 shorts, 1 jacket and 1 pair of shoes. totally up to bout 550+ i think. it's time to stop. but i wanna buy like bags and 1 more pair of black jeans. hahah. we'll see. =P

i have some photos of me in my new clothes. i have NOT worn them out yet. haha. hmmm. i wanna know what you all think! ahaha. so comments please! =)

this will be my first day dressing. with the shoes i spent freaking long to look for. =P

casual wear i guess. might not be able to wear this for cny cause black. =/
think i look toooooooo girly in this. haha =P
this one like wear to beach one. haha!
i like this piece more than the previous one. haha! thinking of wearing for reuion dinner. =P

so so?? nice nice?? haha =P

2008-02-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

things cant get any worse can it? i got a cut from i have no idea where at all last night. and it freaking hurts. zzz.

pls i've been finding for my cny shoes. cant seem to find them anywhere. zzz. going to try my luck at one last place tomorrow or else i anyhow already. gah this sucks.

on a lighter note. i actually bought alot of things for cny already. wee~ and thus the money spent too is alot.

oh yes another thing. i killed a Millipede that appeared in my toliet. and the body is still there waiting for my to dispose. if it somehow disappears. i am GG-ed. gah. super gross.

i am not happy

2008-01-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

okaes. thank you all readers who come to my blog. from today on. the first month of january 2008 offically sucks. so i'm not going to blog anymore till i'm happy. cause it's pissing me off that everytime i blog. i only blog about sad stuff. so till the day i get happier you shan't read anything from here. bye~

Can we bring yesterday
Back around
Cause I know how I feel
About you now
I was dumb I was wrong
I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
your still a part of everything i do
your on my heart just like a
tattoo

2008-01-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

i think know what's missing in my life. the bits and the pieces of them are starting to surface. and it's making me feel empty inside out. stinks. badly. it makes everything dead. like i'm all alone. All I want to do is find a way back into love. I can't make it through without a way back into love.

sun burnt

2008-01-27T00:59:00.000+08:00

my hitting is getting from bad to worst. is either i'm not putting enough concentration or i'm just beinging to suck at it totally. sat morning friendlies went bad. was hitting badly. LITERALLY. extremely upset/disappointed in myself. this sucks.

i wanna get a new racket. i know my one is still kinda new kinda thing. but i wanna change to something else. actually wanted to try the k4 but i ended up getting the k6 team. because the k4 was super head heavy. then the k6 team was kinda even. so yup yup. haha.

went shopping today. super UNACCOMPISH. zzz. chinese new year is really coming and i haven gotten my chinese new year clothes yet. how nonsense can this get. oh wells. needa go in search of my clothes! please appear the next time i go shopping. =) thanks. haha.

i think it's the night that is causing me all the weird emotions flowing in my body. the lonliness at home. in the house of mine at night after bedtime and i am still not sleeping. where my family are already in their beauty sleep. the whole house just seem so vacant and empty.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

it's sat already. so fast

2008-01-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

so... i didnt screw up my first class test on wed BUT i screwed the one on friday. then it feels like i got study like never study like that. how nice. zzz. it's over so just have to work harder for the next one. next test coming up on wednesday. this one. i have a hell lot to study. zzz. i'm going to become a NERD soon really. REALLY.

gah gah gah.

have been really tired these few days gah. and i miss the good old days. where everything was so carefree. when i was really really happy. gah. now it just stinks. somehow. i need to do something about it. i think. if i even know what to do.

eeyerrrrr.

shall head to bed soon. wanna do some cny shopping and there's friendlies in the morning with some pros. i'm so dead. but the scoring sun. all the best to me.

i dont like the way things are now with you.